Nowhere and back again

This poem talks about the journey into and then back out of depression. I’ve been there, read the book, got the T-shirt, cried the tears. Oh Yes – I know the way to nowhere and I’ve had to learn the way back.

Anxiety skulks in
Through the chinks of normality
Lurking un-noticed
Hiding in corners of the mind
Gaining strength
Feeding on itself
Undermining reason
Just a small spark
Fuelled by uncertainty
Consuming belief
Doubting even doubt itself
The spark ignites a fuse
Bonfires in the soul
A dark rocket bursts
Showering its shards of despair
A nebulous crescendo
Of pain, of fear
Of nothing, of nowhere
A blinding flash
Of darkness
Leads you into
The void
A place of nothingness
Not even fear
Just darkness
Darker
Deeper
Colder
Engulfed
A living death
With no way back
Imprisoned in oneself
Nowhere going nowhere
One day hope steals back
Seeping through the pores of despair
A silent blossoming
A faint whiff
A ghost of a scent
A little healing
A little light
Almost lost against the enormity of hurt
Given time, lots of time
The scent of hope pervades
Settling in corners of the mind
Gaining strength
Feeding on itself
Undermining nothingness
An exit
A way forward
Something grows
A vision
Clearer
Stronger
A future
It will come
And maybe
Just maybe
It might linger